A child at heart


A short firework exhibit flashed while I was staring the dark sky. I smiled. I love surprises and this week was full of those.

July 22 – At peace with the Maker and His people
I was working out a CG material to pass after lunch. While studying and recalling my notes, I found myself rebuked. God saw my heart. The discomforts these hard feelings brought and the dispute it kept in silence. I was disregarding a person almost a week when I was being prompted to reconcile.

Pride, at its best, was trying to block and ruin my purpose. I disclosed everything but tension was stirring up. Enough! I could feel myself but I was just being reminded to humble down. God restores. He heals. So help me, God. And I prayed it did.

July 23 – The Good Soil
It was an instant throwback afternoon. Christian and I talked about college, our Accountancy course and the wholeness of it. He had to leave early, though, but we ended with united hearts in pursuing God’s ministry. I handed him his Passion Can and breathed a prayer before we part ways.

I went straight to SM Marikina to meet the first two people whom God blessed my heart to pursue Passion Savings (PS), Jorell and Alleli. And yes, they were the answer to my prayer: “Whom shall we finance, God?”

It was a grace-filled night. Listening to their hearts and just allowing God reveal Himself in our midst. God placed these good soils in my life for a purpose. Though from different stories of life, it brings encouragement knowing that God allowed our paths to cross and be prayer warriors of one another.

July 24 – Shout for Joy!
I was shouting for joy, unstoppable and inexplicable! And I was crying hard. I was holding the four-page resolution of my dismissed libel case and I just couldn’t comprehend how it happened. How it happened to me.

God let it occurred. Yes, I suffered the fruit of my wrongdoings. And yes, I rejoiced with the grace of God in front of my bare eyes. And in both moments, I chose to praise Him. My strength drained early that day but I sought to testify at our church’s mid-week service. I couldn’t contain the blessing! God’s grace was overflowing!

July 25 – K+ for Getting Strong
I just had lab exams again. The hospital, for me, is the most sterile place on earth. But honestly, I wouldn’t choose to stay there forever. I have monthly doctor visits and lab exams to check my liver, blood and x-ray. But with every test, I always look forward for a miracle. Divine healing, that is.

My potassium (K+) dropped last month. I didn’t just have weak lungs, but also weak legs. I hardly walk far due to discouragements my condition brings when I get stressed. Yet, results proved I was getting stronger this month. And with just continuous medication and proper rest, I know I’ll be fit again. In nine months time.

July 26 – #FridayFavors
I was reading CS Lewis’s “Mere Christianity” and reviewing some PS thoughts. It amazes me whenever I read messages of people shedding their desire to be a part of a miracle. It is really God’s Spirit touching people’s hearts whenever they read, react, respond and recommend.

I was favored to endure a prayer walk that late afternoon. I met April who just read the blog that morning and on the very day received her Passion Can. I even got to visit my high school. But what caught my attention was my heart to heart talk with one of my mentors there. She was restless (this has been my word for the whole week, honestly) How she’s raging with anger and bitterness. How she wanted to fight back. And seeing her that way was really new to me, but I shunned myself from judging her. I listened, instead.

Again, I was reminded of my Monday devotion At peace with the Maker and His men. Honestly, I somehow felt intimidated since she was my mentor but I was just being given grace to represent God that time. And encouraged her to make the situation better than bitter. I’ll be seeing her again next week.

July 27 – Jesus’ Lifestyle
Will God watch what we watch? Sing what we sing? Read what we read? Do what we do? If not, then don’t do it. God does not delight on second hand and fake living sacrifices. He wants a holy and pleasing one, from the top of the morning till the end of the eve. Worship should be a lifestyle.

I came home from a Worship Symposium and I’m just in awe with the kind of lifestyle God impressed: His Lifestyle.

It was for a PS meeting when Jacob, a new ministry partner, invited me to spend my afternoon at their church’s event. It was worth the stay, the breakthrough and the wisdom. I was refreshed. And I believe God allowed me to be there to apply it as well. Worship is not just the praises we sing or the preaching we listen to. It is the life we live. And I know, even in our simple acts, we are called to worship Him in spirit and in truth.

What started as a still, small voice
Is raging now and your only choice
To follow who You are
So follow who You are

-This is Not Goodbye
by Sidewalk Prophets

Staring the sky while listening to that song, I was just so humbled down. Who am I to experience such grace? I felt I wanted to head ‘home’ and long that hug from Jesus. Living a life for His glory really demands complete dependence, faith and surrender. Honestly, it’s been weeks since I felt such great pressure and disappointments to myself. I so wanted to love Him and be a vessel of His love. And to experience such unending grace, I desire to express my love for Him more!

Last Monday, I was crying when I woke up because of a dream. And I remembered the difference of those tears. I hardly cry that way. I was like a child crying for innocence’s sake, and this is not because of bitterness or heartaches. It was a cry of a child seeking for her way home. Those were tears yearning for a hug. Tears pleading not to leave her behind.

I texted a good friend about it but I hardly understood my dream that time. And just tonight I realized how God finished the puzzle to reveal a masterpiece. The Beauty of His Grace. The Call. The Response.

Being childish is different from being a child at heart. He calls us to be dead to sin and alive in Him. Just as infants as innocent and dependent to their parents.

So if someone cleanses himself of such behavior, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart, useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.
-2 Timothy 2:21

This world may call us unworthy, sinful or defile, but we can boast our God who remains faithful and merciful to those who pursue to take up the cross, deny himself and follow Him. We are being prepared to be His vessel and to fully experience His power.

Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”
-Joshua 3:5

Consecrate. I was challenged with this verb. This is a daily and lifetime process. Can I do it? When I came across this verse, I was left in awe: If today, what I am experiencing is amazing to my eyes, what amazing thing will He do to a fully consecrated child of God?

The answer is His.


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