God so loves us!

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Day after day it speaks out; night after night it reveals his greatness.
-Psalms 19:2

If there is one thing this heart longs for, it is His righteousness.

It was like last week when I was sharing to Kuya Sam and Jorell about my suspension and ongoing libel case. I was just listening when I found myself disagreeing with the thought. I was reminded of my past experience and my covenant to God back when I received my suspension letter.

…that never will I ever seek to partake in any event in bad faith; that I would never put any one in shame, humiliation and the like through my writings; that I wouldn’t even encourage anyone to do the same; and that I would pursue writing by heart and by soul for God’s glory no matter what.

And today, I’m just drowning in His grace. He gives second chances! He is just so merciful. Oh how He loves us!

I felt so losing when I got suspended, faced persecutions, attended court investigations and stepped down from finishing my last semester.

It was devastating! I could still remember how my mind was floating in desperation. Asking people my next step. How will I accept? Who would understand? What shall I do? Why this?

Well, if you’ll talk to hard core press people, this is low. I’m being lame with my reactions. Libels are quoted as breakfast. Instead of being threatened, they would encourage you to celebrate. It is a proof of fearlessness, they’d say.

Honestly, it was never God-magnifying. I saw myself fighting my rights to people in the authority and proving my selfish statements. I never realized it that early, though. Instead, I pushed on. I stood. I remained proud. No remorse.

At the end of the day, I knew my Maker wasn’t smiling back at me. He might have been telling me that He’s disappointed. That this is out of the blueprint. That this won’t help me.

But because of my pride and rebellious spirit, I hardly heard His voice. Or maybe considered. The more I pursued my thoughts that it would make sense in the end. And it only proved me wrong. I failed. I just compromised. I was a war freak.

Overcoming, I learned it the grace-filled way.

I was humbled down. All my works, editorials and columns weren’t worth it. I was just adding up to the injury. And I just ended up with records withheld and stained image.

I was at the point of letting go my writing career. Stop it. Maybe God never wanted m to write. That I wasn’t born for this. I’m just insisting it.

Writing has always been my first love. It’s me in every letter and stroke. And knowing that it would push me to the edge of life was really hard. Instead, He led me to a covenant.

Never will I write in bad faith. Never.
My thoughts, talents and all are His, and will all be used for His glory.
Whatever the cost will be.

This morning, I woke up with one verse in mind. John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The song ‘God so Loved’ was ringing my head. God is returning me to my first love, Him. He is my best and not the second best.

I am just so humbled down, right now. I can’t contain His grace. I can’t comprehend how God performs and loves. But I know He works and He is more than able.

Just when you know in yourself that you are so unworthy of such miracles, of being loved back, of being blessed, the more He reveals Himself. The more He reminds us that He is all we need, that He is everything.

And despite our failures, His love is unfailing. His grace is ever abounding.

Oh How He Loves us!

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