The Call

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What good is it to gain the whole world
But lose your soul?
What good is it to make a sweet sound
But remain proud?
In view of God’s mercy, I offer my all

And take my life, let it be everything, all of me
Here I am, use me for Your glory
In everything I say and do, let my life honor You
Here I am living for Your glory

The road I’m on that leads nowhere without You
And the life I live that finds meaning and surrender
In view of God’s mercy, I offer my all

Seeking first the Kingdom
Seeking first the Kingdom
Of my Lord

-Living for Your Glory by Tim Hughes

It’s been quite a battle. Praise Him for He has overcome.

After two of my friends accompanied me for a ride, I caught myself rejoicing. I just can’t contain the joy. The song Living For Your Glory kept ringing in my head when I decided to stay in front our house and just stare at the sky.

I saw no stars. I was reminded of a friend and texted him. Then after hitting sent, the smiles weren’t erased. I was so grateful for the day. For the grace, the strength, His Word and His call.

I couldn’t contain my tears. I was drowning in His grace that time. I just wanted to stay in His presence. Thank Him and bless His Name.

I prayed and shed tears (again) to the One who shed blood on the Cross.

It’s almost a month since I learned of my lung condition. And I learned that I just accepted one of the hardest task in my life, to swallow my pride and live for Him.

Tonight’s DaWord in our youth service is entitled The Call at Genesis 12:1-3.

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.
“I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.”

I am not an emotional person but all throughout the message I was in tears. I was actually keeping myself from sobbing but it just overflowed during the altar call.

God knew I had a lot of moments wrestling to His call, to support people in their mission field and in their education.

Passion Savings started May with nine Passion Cans distributed. Then June came, a very critical month to consider.

That month, I hardly saw myself in commitment to pursue God’s call. I felt incapable of doing what my heart desires. Plus, I saw myself young for such. And maybe I’m just hyped.

Still, I put everything in prayer. June 12 when I gave the 10th Passion Can, I was so fulfilled. I got to talk to friends and I also got to breathe and seek God at Los Banos.

June 15, I spit blood twice.
June 17, I was diagnosed with pneumonia.
June 19, it was confirmed to be PTB.
June 22, I filed resignation.
June 25, my nine month treatment started.

I can’t help but not cry because I saw and felt myself’s weaknesses. I realized how I lacked commitment and focus too. And I saw myself no longer passionate with God’s Word.

Yet, He was there, in open arms. Waiting and longing for my decision.

“Is it a yes or a no, Monique? I’m calling you to Me. To be like Me.”

So I drew near the altar, crying and seeking for forgiveness. All the while He was waiting for my answer, He was actually revealing Himself through every ministry partner He gives and I encounter.

“Trust Me, Monique. Trust Me.”

Those words soften my heart. I knew I wasn’t just called at the altar to cry. He’s calling me to decide.

“I love you, Monique. And I know this burden is not just because of the need you see. It’s because you aim to love like Me. So love Me through them and follow Me.”

I wanted to wrestle my sickness and my weaknesses. Yet, He was giving me grace that moment.

I talked to Ptr Sam after the service. I had to talk to him and share this joy through God’s Word.

He was as joyful as I am. And he was saying words, “God has great plans for all of us. And He desires us to perform His dreams, His big big dreams. God bless your heart, Monique.”

I was still in tears that time. And I shared to him Passion Savings. And he smiled.

“God is going to be blessed with that, Monique. I’m gonna pray for you.”

It’s a great affirmation learning that none of the people I highly regard as spiritual mentors disagree or hinder this call. The more they support it, actually.

And I am just so grateful to God for He never sends His soldier alone and weapon-less. He goes with them. He goes with us. He is our ultimate weapon.

I am praying as I write this for each of us to look heavenward and seek for His purpose on us.

God never set standards on whom He wants to send. He was just seeking for a willing heart. And our willingness means a lot to Him.

Let’s keep on seeking His Will for the more we seek Him, the more we find Him. 😊

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
-Jeremiah 29:13

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