Back to bed.
June 21, 2013 – Day 2 started with a much lighter note compared to yesterday. I got to rest my lungs more, and stressed my chest less. Getting used to the oral excretion, I guess.
Still, my body was being dragged back to bed to recover strength. And before I knew it, I woke up quarter to ten for a meet up with a friend, prayer partner and pastor near our home.
Intention? God’s been dealing my heart to work out my faith not just with my family but with the community I grew up, Valley View Subdivision.
I was walking my way to my friend pastor’s house and just praying the words to speak. It’s been two years since I talked to them and let them know stuffs in my life.
So I was there. Sharing and not asking anything in return. I could be discouraged that moment knowing and feeling that thick and vulnerable wall while I was talking to them. Yet, I can’t say no to God’s command. Whether they’ll accept me, my testimonies, stories and all, or not, I wouldn’t mind. This is my obedience to God’s voice. He is with me.
Indeed, it’s time to cope up and end what the enemy did two years ago, broken hearts, unresolved issues, bitterness, impurities and the spirit of lust.
While talking to Ptra, God was just whispering to me one word: HUMILITY. Honestly, I was hurt when I saw straight faces. I could feel the coldness and the apathy despite my desire to reach out.
But NO! Today, I know that I was victorious over the fears, doubts and shames I have in my heart. They may not know how joyful I am after obeying God and taking that leap of faith but my heart was just so rejoicing deep within knowing that I have overcome myself, the pride and guilt that hardened my heart for the past two years.
My prayer is for God to allow the next days as moments of reconciliation and fellowship. My heart’s not longing for justice or karma. It seeks for healing. The enemy has wounded a lot of relationships and I won’t allow him to reign and destroy more hearts.
THIS HAS TO STOP!
Ptr. Sam was right. God’s eyeing me to do great things for His glory, and with this vision, the enemy is trembling to pull me down. I am a threat to Satan. So the more he wants me down.
Thankful, God is very much willing to fix my heart, mend it and make it whole again. And I desire to be healed, restored and freed.
Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
I pray to see things and every circumstance through the eyes of God. I’m fragile inside but I know it is God who helps me to represent Him well. I claim freedom in Jesus’ Name for truly the enemy has no authority in my life.
The lyrics of an old praise song reminded me of how Jesus remains to be greater than any worries, fears, doubts, problems, struggles or burdens we have.
For greater is He who is in me than he that is in this world.
I am more than a conqueror by the power of His Word.
The Spirit of The Lord is great and mighty
The Spirit of The Lord is my victory.
Looks like I’ll be pre-occupied with God’s dealings after all. Not with paper works, but with life.