I choose to praise You

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I choose to praise You when anxious doubts and endless fears surround me…

Today is one of the most heartbreaking days I have ever encountered. I felt like I had a major break up, not with someone but with my dreams.

Minutes before my exam, I received a message from my co-staffer at the Dawn. We were asked to visit the Student Disciplinary Board (SDB) since the decision regarding our status was already released.

I wanted to know the result so I went to the SDB as soon as I arrived at the campus. Less did I expect, what I heard would break me.

I was sentenced to one year suspension starting next semester. Nothing more, nothing less. In short, my high hopes on graduating next semester’s gone. I would need to wait for next, next March to finish my schooling.

My world slowly shattered when I heard the news. I tried to smile back when indeed I was breaking within. I ran out of words that time. I was unmoved.

I was just staring at Ms. Diaz of SDB as I interceded by heart. I didn’t know why but I knew that this day would come. I knew that I am to reap the consequences of my past mistakes, but I never expected that I’ll earn them this way. I never expected that it would be this soon.

I texted Ptr Sam Tamayo before I headed to class. It was an instinct that I felt that I had to express a bit of my feelings and inform as well the Church God gave to me, the Taytay First Church of Nazarene, through Kuya Sam.

I took the exam with so many thoughts rushing in my head. Soon after I finished answering, teardrops started to fall. That moment, I wanted to talk with someone, go somewhere, or eat anything. I was desperate to ease that very painful pain. I wanted to break free.

Funny. What happened was otherwise. I ended locking myself for an hour and a half in a CR cubicle where I have talked to God and eaten His Word.

He reminded me of the word REJOICE. He wanted me to see the difference of my life when I was astray and the life that I am experiencing right now. He wanted me to think positive, to be still and to rejoice despite the issue.

I remembered my mom, my high school mentors, my dreams, my timeline.. I was so much in pain that afternoon. I was alone and my mind was messed up. Less talk and so quiet. I was blanked. I was trying to smile yet I knew I was deeply hurt within. Later, God brought me to His Word.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
-James 1:2-4

I cried more after reflecting. Far from my young knowledge, I realized my faith and love for Him wasn’t big enough to stand storms and overcome giants.

I felt ashamed and asked for forgiveness. I was so weak that I let fear to overcome my heart rather than see His greatness before me.

When I arrived at the apartment, I messaged some of my churchmates and asked for prayers. Again, tears rolled down as I read and received concerns and encouragements.

I was so amazed with their comments. I didn’t expect that they would have the concern to respond or even have the time to comfort me even through their short messages.

I thanked God for them. I could have drowned myself with tears, fears and worries, yet their messages made my day. God’s so amazing! He gave me friends, a church, a family whom I am assured will pray for me in the midst of my struggle.

Rejoice!, a seven letter word very easy to exclaim yet resounds a deep meaning. It requires not just smiles but the heart and it’s response to any situation it encounters.

So how will I keep calm and trust God in times like this? How will I praise His Name with this burden? How will I rejoice?

Through this issue, I learned that life has its own imperfections. It is unfair. Ups and downs are present. Ironies occur. Problems increase. Still, He reminded me that though life may not be a sugar-coated experience, God will always remain good and great ALL the time.

Whether in good or in bad times, the heart should remain grateful that even when circumstances come, it will always choose to give Him praise.

Like any one, I have heartaches and hard situations. I also fail and sin. I am not exempted to temptations. I have weaknesses and even wrong decisions. Yet, no matter who I am, what my situation is, or how I think and act, I am more than grateful to be loved by a perfect God who saw me with grace and mercy.

Indeed, the pruning process is painful. It is not just a matter of a change of heart but a complete transformation inside and out.

Jesus is very serious in removing all the wastes and thrashes in our lives. He wants us to learn a very hard yet good lesson. He reminds us that this life is indeed in need of a Savior.

I choose to praise You..
Let Your will be done, O Father. :’)

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I choose to Praise You lyrics

You’re the hope of man
The breath of life
You hold my hand
When I feel the crumbling ground
I will stand
At sheer cliff side
I will trust Your plan
Though I know it’s so far down

I choose to praise You
I choose to praise You
When anxious doubts and endless fears surround me
I choose to praise You
I choose to praise You
When mighty water’s swirling all around me

And I know its darkest right before the dawn
And I know Your promise I am resting on
Your Word is truth
Your Word is life
You are the Way
You keep me through the darkest night
Your Word is truth
Your Word is life
You are the Way
You keep me through the darkness

I Choose To Praise You video

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