Take Heart

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“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
-John 16:33

Peace. Take Heart. Overcome.

Lately, God has been dealing me ‘heart verses’. I mean verses with the word ‘heart’, from guarding the heart, being careful with the heart to taking heart in circumstances. It seems like heart issues just never stop. Moreover, they seem to be in demand almost every day.

My mom used to tell me that I am the least sweet yet the most gullible in the family. I admit it. I am not as sweet as most ladies and young women do, but I know I have my own way to tickle one’s heart. Well, that’s beyond of what I’ll share today. Next time 🙂

Going back, I have been feeling way too lonely and disappointed nowadays.

It’s finals week and I am very worried with a major subject. I was given an undefined grade this midterm due to my lax and mediocre feat in class.

Honestly, I was aiming to be the best in that Finance class when I got problems handling a libel case, pursuing publication issues, multi-tasking studies and work as well as controlling my temper with my younger brother all the same time.

Aside from this, my graduate status remains in the line. Far from the young knowledge of everyone, I got blacklisted last summer in my own university due to an article published by Daw, the spoof paper of the Weekly Dawn. I received a subpoena to appear before a prosecutor at Manila City Hall. Mid-semester, I faced court trials and meetings with Kabataan Party list Youth Sector lawyer Terry Radin to finalize the case.

To cut the story short, I had to skip classes just to appear at the City Hall and defend myself. Much of how I wanted to focus with my academics and free the mind from the issues, I realized that it was dead hard. I had sleep-deprived nights worrying what will happen. I even accidentally broke a porcelain Chinaware while washing the dishes. I was really out of focus that time.

Then again, prayers supported me as I was slowly overcoming the case. After our last court appearance in July, the issue seemingly died. Only that, the University Student Affairs Office took the staffers personally and eventually shut down the Dawn and changed its office door knob just to hinder the incumbent staff from using the publication office.

I felt so numb that time. I wanted to strike back if only my blacklist status was not holding me back. A voice in my head was reminding me of my parents and of my dream of graduating. So there went my silence. I had to control myself.

Less did I knew, my dream to graduate next semester may not happen after my mother talked to me this morning and asked me to stop school by next semester.

I was enjoying brunch when I lost appetite and absorbed the news. My brother will have his internship next semester abroad and he’ll be needing not less than Php 50,000.00 to finalize his OJT at Malaysia.

Personally, I hid my emotions from my mom during the talk. I didn’t want to add to her burdens. So, I started saying about faith and that God will make a way, though in fact I was breaking within.

While taking a shower, thoughts such as ‘Why do I have to suffer? I want to graduate too.’ and ‘Can’t he have his internship in the country, instead? There are other things to prioritize in this house.’ lingered in my head.

I was becoming selfish again.

Currently, I and my brother are in a Cold War. We are not talking, not even greeting each other. We don’t walk, eat, laugh or even watch the television together. It’s bothering especially that we are not like this since that ‘stalker’ and ‘money’ issue sprung between us eight months ago.

On the way to school, I knew I was about to give in with the pain I have within, that struggle, that bitterness, that jealousy, that anger when I read a SMS sent by our youth pastor.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
-Hebrews 11:1

I felt a tear after a brief text conversation with Ptr Sam Tamayo.

I: Thanks for the verse, Kuya Sam! Encouraged through it despite the tough finals exam week ahead. Still, let His grace saturate us. Good day. Godbless! 🙂

KS: Kaya mo yan 🙂 Mamimiss mo yan when you graduate 🙂 (You can do it. You’ll miss that when you graduate.)

I: Sarap sa tenga ng salitang ‘graduate’. Hm. After finals, papaclear pa ko dahil sa blacklist stat ko. But as Hebrews 11 said, by Faith. Thanks, Kuya! In Christ, I can. 🙂 (That word ‘graduate’ sounds so good to the ear. Hm. After finals, I need to clear my blacklist status. But as Hebrews 11 said, by Faith. Thanks, Kuya! In Christ, I can.)

KS: Amen 🙂 Proud of you 🙂

God is indeed faithful. He works in ways we cannot fathom. In the midst of victory and pain, there is only One thing we all need.

Not a pat, food or even rest, but only Jesus.

Today, I reflected His greatness while worshiping Him through the song Take Heart. The title explains itself. God, indeed, wants us to surrender our hearts and trust Him completely. For with Him, we are made strong and courageous.

Lord, take over. Help.. 🙂

Take Heart lyrics

[Verse 1:]
There is a light
It burns brighter than the sun
He steals the night
And casts no shadow
There is hope
Should oceans rise and mountains fall
He never fails

[Chorus:]
So take heart
Let His love lead us through the night
Hold on to hope
And take courage again

[Verse 1:]
In death by love
The fallen world was overcome
He wears the scars of our freedom
In His Name
All our fears are swept away
He never fails

[Bridge:]
All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome
All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

All our burdens
And all our shame
God our freedom
He has overcome

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failures
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome

God our justice
God our grace
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our refuge
God our strength
God is with us
He has overcome

Video link below:
Take Heart – Hillsong – Covered by Lance Taylor

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