I was crying when I woke up last Wednesday. Felt so overwhelmed with God’s Word. Indeed, God’s mercy never fails. His grace never expires and His love endures forever.
I regularly listen to downloaded podcast by Hillsong, Planetshakers and Destiny Church Manila. Last Tuesday, I was listening to the Planetshakers. It was about Jesus being the Master of Storms.
I had to keep repeating it for me to understand and tweet every statement that spoke to my heart. I was so reminded that night, that when even I woke up Wednesday morning I caught myself crying.
Honestly, I have a lot of storms raging inside my head and heart. Problems I barely try to escape away each day just to fully survive. But personally,running away from them never resolved me anything. I even had a lot of sleepless nights when all I do is think of nothing but just kill time. My mind was overcrowded for the past months and I was crying to God to free my mind from everything that kept bothering me.
For the past few weeks, I could say that I have been to relax with my Christian life with God. I had setbacks and doubts. And because I felt so mad I kept them to myself not just overnight but for the whole week and sometimes, for almost a month.
To be honest, I faced difficulties with my studies, in meeting my schedules and interviews, to clear that even the Monique everyone calls busy has downfalls on her own. I even had a lot of absences and so near on getting dropped. I even fail my family and friends. I don’t understand why I’m experiencing laziness, stubbornness and even hard headed attitude. But I then understand that it was the problems that saturated my mind and eventually dominated my heart as well. I was no longer fully filled with God’s Word but with the problems revolving around me.
God is so good. He let me hear and listen to a testimony who by grace overcome struggles and was renewed again. I could relate to him personally. He was a Christian for 30 years and I am a self-proclaimed Christian too for 8 years. On my 6th year, I faced the most tragic issue I had ever have -purity.
This explains why I got involved to a new church, Taytay First Church of Nazarene. I never imagined my life getting to church again after what happened to me with my previous church. Though I love them still, and that they are the church that raised me, I believe God allowed my silence to attend again and regain my trust to God.
I could say that it was the very reason and the root of all sins and problems I’m getting through at present. I am reaping the consequences after staining God’s Name and being a disgrace.
I’m still blessed. God never let me feel that I am abandoned, left out or useless. Even more, He made me feel more loved and special. He provided me with new friends who served as instruments for me to get back up again. He gave me people who encourage me to trust and believe God once more. It was only my mindset and emotions that held me back from drawing near to God.
Upon learning this, I believe that no storms can ever bring me down for I have with me the Master of all storms. I pray that as I face full recovery and realizations, may God lead me. May I be able to listen to his still small voice amid this demanding world always.
And I also share to everyone that destruction will never come from God. He is the God of order, the Prince of Peace.
So let not any circumstance destruct us. Don’t let them blur our vision. But let all storms bow down to the lordship of our Savior. He has overcome.
May Jesus be the Master of all storms. Let Him. 🙂
“And the men were amazed and said, “What sort of person is this? Even the winds and the sea obey him!”