Sorry if I sounded selfish.
I was still awake when I received your last message. I had difficulties with my back pains and with the rough talk we had.
Actually, it triggered me when I saw your name on Chikka. I knew I was bad. Sorry..
Forgive me, I wasn’t prepared to reply. I don’t know why. After reading yours, I was left speechless. I had a lot of questions in mind but I preferred to keep it to myself. I felt I was near to my greatest nightmare, getting too attached. So I demanded for the conversation to stop. I knew it wasn’t right. It was no longer helping. I felt like it wasn’t me, like it was the old me. Then, I grounded myself.
In the lighter side, I had myself in laughs after reading your SMS for like twenty times, I guess? Just being honest, it was funny it happened to us. I felt like I was a kid being persuaded to listen and as if you’re putting band aid in my bruise or giving me a lollipop to ease the pain.
How cute the feeling was. Laugh out loud.
Kidding aside, you are a good soul and I don’t want to be a burden, not even a pain to you. But thanks for accepting me, for trusting even at a young friendship we have. Yet, for now I believe God’s dealing a lot with me and even to you. From headaches to heartaches, God knows me better than I do.
I can’t promise much. But, what I know is that I’m giving this heart to Him to let Him fix it fully. In time, I will be prepared to reply back to your last SMS. Honestly, I still don’t have any answer so I’m praying.
I said that I would ground myself from texting you but it doesn’t mean we’re no longer friends. If SMS are hindered, will friendship be over too? No. Friends are more than text messages can contribute to communicate. Far more than any feel-good quotation can be used to uplift a weary heart.
Just do take care of yourself and, again, don’t forget to sleep.
Prayer. Don’t leave home without it. God bless. 🙂
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